I just don't know what to do with myself

One of my most favourite Dusty Springfiled songs. I have this "Best of... "album with her tracks that I bought somewhere in Florence or some other place in Italy. I never uploaded this album neither to my iPod nor my phone, it just stands among other CDs in my dad's neverending line of classical music albums in our country house's living room. Twice or three times a year I play this CD in that room. It never leaves me calm, never manages to become background music. I start to sing and dance, every word sounds right, every note feels perfect. And another era is shining throught the layers of arrangments and Dusty's perfect soothing and cheerfull and deep voice. Be it sixities hits like I only wanna be with you, or eighties classics like that collaboration with Pet Shop Boys all those songs transport me somewhere and once I see my refelction in the mirrors or the glass covering pictures on the walls it's as if I can be beautifull, I can be happy, I can be lively, I can be. I've never been in love but her songs somehow make me feel something very close to it. I don't wanna exaggerate, of course Dusty is just some very talented  pop artist and her songs where aimed at wide audiences, but the quality and devotion can't be ignored.

I really hate the fact that the post I wrote here more than a year ago (15 March 2010) still sums up all the problems and idiocies I have today. NOTHING changed. 

I need fuck knows what to get myself in touch with reality and finally finally finally do something. god, how disgusting all of this is and yet.

a popular band sings "you desired my attention but denied my affection". well he denies both.

I'm a bit selfish I guess, because I turn to my blog only when I'm most desperate or am planning a holiday. I'll try to be better. Maybe writing more often will give me some sort of a schedule to stick to. To get my life back on track.

Dusty got to hang out with the likes of the Beatles and Tom Jones, what about me?

Ok, enough moaning for today, let's see what tomorrow looks like. For some reason the "starting over" posts and thoughts appear somewhere in the middle of the night.